Our nervous system responds instinctively to trauma and stress, and we often don’t feel we have a choice when our Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) answers to threatening situations. This stress-induced response can include a reaction to perceived threat (even when there may not be a threat present). Our trauma responses including the collapse response can often show up to try to help us get our needs met and feel safe. Even if the response is 'overworking' or doesn't feel appropriate to the situation.
Often we hear about the Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn response, but the discussion around the Submit/Collapse Response can be neglected. Despite many people experiencing this response and normalizing this response (think about the culture we live in, and chronic burnout!). An example may be working hard all week on auto-pilot and then when the weekend comes you feel like you don't have the energy to get off the couch.
The collapse response is for survival.
If you experience the Collapse/Submit response as a dominant state, this is not a bad response, you may not 'want to respond this way' however this is how the nervous system feels most safe responding at the time of stress. This response is a way that the nervous system handles chronic, inescapable trauma and stress situations. Our nervous system’s job is to keep us safe. Sometimes safe becomes just “safe enough” when in survival mode.
In a moment of trauma, this collapse response can be a defense which can lessen our experience of pain. But after the trauma has passed, these adaptations typically interfere with a healthy life. Think about chronic burnout. Physical impacts include low muscle tone, chronic fatigue, and shallow breath.
The Collapse/Submit Response can show up as:
What’s the difference between Rest & Collapse?
Many people confuse rest states and collapsed states.
Rest and collapse can look similar externally, yet the body’s physiological experience differs.
You are in your Parasympathetic Nervous system (PNS) when in a rest state.
A collapse state and 'rest state' are not the same. Rest states are relaxed, restorative, and refreshing and occur in response to safe environments. This is why when you are experiencing chronic burnout sometimes time off doesn't feel restorative.
You are in your Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) when in a collapse state. Collapsed states are dissociated, draining, and respond to stress and danger. When in a Collapse state, you are not recharging or refueling; you will likely feel burnt out even after your “break.”
Your parasympathetic nervous system is a network of nerves that relaxes your body after periods of stress or danger. It also helps run life-sustaining processes, like digestion, when you feel safe and relaxed. A resting state allows you to experience relief, calm, embodiment, connection, and high-body awareness.
Who can help me to heal my Submit/Collapse Response and create a wiser nervous system?
It can be difficult to shift back into your body and present-moment experience. This is not a fast process. Self-compassion is crucial for healing the Submit/Collapse response. The body must go through fight or flight and then back to activation of the parasympathetic nervous system (rest/digest system). So if you feel frozen or collapsed, that is an excellent time to engage in movement, moderate exercise, shaking, listening to invigorating music, walking, stretching, or going outside.
If you feel ready to address the trauma that has impacted your nervous system and your relationships and escape survival mode, we would love to help you at Carmel Therapy Network to overcome and heal this response.
Working with a trauma-informed psychotherapist or a trauma-informed dietitian, you can work towards healing your trauma responses. Going to a provider skilled in trauma healing is a significant first step in getting support and helping get unstuck.
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